“Let Me Clear Things Up…” – New post from Rachel.

This is not about teams…

When I was in 11th grade my friend Brian and I wanted to start a little garage band. We were messing around and just jamming, nothing crazy. I told him that my band would be called He Is We and someday tour the country. We talked about our dreams and what we wanted to be when we grew up. I had the name figured out and what I wanted to do with it. I wanted it to represent community and be a band that reached out to people on a personal level. Not just smiley faces and awkward hugs, but really make an impact.

After I turned 18 I moved to Tacoma, WA and met Trevor. We started playing music and didn’t think much of it. I knew this was the project I wanted to call He Is We. I had a vision. He and I built each other up and pushed each other to make the best music we could. We were growing and suddenly Myspace blew up. We had no idea why. It just happened. Before we knew it we were in New York. Showcases and fancy dinners ended with the signing of He Is We to Universal Motown. We promised we would never change. We began traveling quite a bit and learning SO much about the people who supported us. The more that happened, the longer and longer we spent away from home. My body began to get sick easier and I stayed sick for longer. Something was going on, but I pushed.

19 years old, a traumatic incident took place that changed my life forever. 2 weeks after that I was sent on tour. I had no therapy or anyone to talk to about it. I had to keep this face on for everybody because the idea of talking about it became unbearable. My body then became very ill. It was a mix of the road conditions and my mental health. No one had a clue. I ended up in the ER twice due to some medication issues. My body had actually become poisoned and I was throwing up before and after shows. I know it’s graphic, but I am trying to paint a picture of where my mind was. I was later diagnosed with PTSD and got the help I needed.

At 21 I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, which explained why my body was hurting and I was so tired all the time. Everything was crumbling in my hands. I couldn’t keep up with all of it. You guys stood by encouraging me, not even knowing what happened. You guys made this process such an incredible experience. I couldn’t have been more blessed.

At the moment I decided to walk away, I was given a very difficult choice. Either walk away and allow He Is We to carry on its message without me or potentially ruin the lives of everyone else because they had to wait for me. I didn’t want this to fail because I was too sick. I panicked. I tried to tell myself it was a good idea and that I was doing it for you guys. But the moment it happened I had this knot in my stomach. I tossed and turned and remembered that this was MY VISION from high school. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and step up to the plate. I was so scared people wouldn’t take me back.

There were rough spots in there. Things were said and my heart had been broken. I had seen sides of people, sides of myself, that I wasn’t proud of and I knew it had to change. When it all went down, I spent the night crying in happiness at the support that flooded in. You guys held me up when I wanted so desperately to hit the ground. I was done. But your belief in me sparked a fire that couldn’t be contained.I am now finishing up recording in New York. Nashville is next. And somehow, we pulled this off guys and this record is dedicated 100% to you all. I am bringing the songs I wrote back to the table and giving you guys something from the heart.

Sometimes people are brought into each other’s lives to bring us to where we need to be right then and to teach us who we want to be. Paths cross all the time and sometimes lead us to something greater down the road.

Just know that Trevor has decided to pursue a project with Stevie Scott. I haven’t spoken with him in awhile and don’t know the details, but I know it is something that makes him happy. So our job as lovers of all things good in this world is to continue to love and support him through ALL things. We can’t allow this to tear us apart. This whole “team” business is ripping the relationship out of what should be an incredible community. We are believers in the idea that LOVE CAN HEAL.Your love healed me. I will never forget that. You guys have become the center of my world and I owe you MY life. Love you all.

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